


Air and Earth

by moonflowers



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Durincest, Fili has a lot of feelings, Hand Jobs, Kili you are adorable, M/M, Sibling Incest, Snarky Elves, post book
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-04
Updated: 2013-02-04
Packaged: 2017-11-28 05:25:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/670775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonflowers/pseuds/moonflowers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It felt the most natural thing in the world to close the gap between them, as right as the wind on the side of the mountain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Air and Earth

**Author's Note:**

> Many years ago, when I first saw Lord of the Rings, I would never have believed I would one day write porn based on Tolkien's work. Yet here I am, indulging in gay dwarven incest.

Never before had Fili appreciated the sky so much. Of course, he had spent a great deal of time under it; moving from place to place when he was younger, as many of them had, and the places he had been on their quest to regain the Lonely Mountain. But Erebor was different – the air outside the mountain halls was cool and clear, an endless sky above endless earth, a fresh blue that seemed near impossible after the deep caverns under the ground. True he loved the earth and stone, as he always would. But the still rock was even easier to love after time spent with the cold rushing of the mountain air on his skin. He found he could not fully appreciate one without the other; the two brought out the best in their counterpart. 

*

It wasn’t until everyone began the evening meal that Fili noticed his brother’s absence. This was not unusual – Kili often lost track of time, especially if his feet led him to wander deep within the mountain. It had been years since the dwarves’ return to Erebor, but it took time for them to learn, or re-learn, its twisting and turnings. Despite the normality of the situation, it unnerved Fili to be apart from his brother much more than a day. The lack of Kili’s familiar presence disorientated him, and his fingers strayed to his sword hilt far more often than necessary. 

“Has anyone seen Kili?” he called down the table as Dori and Nori set down stacks of plates. The original company of Thorin found it hard to shake the habit of taking their meals together, despite the years since their quest had ended.

“No, lad.” Bofur answered him, placing two jugs of ale in the centre of the table. “But there’s food, he’ll turn up.”

“You two worry over each other too much,” Thorin looked at his eldest nephew sternly as he sat at the head of the table, “and you’re getting too old to allow showing it so freely.”

“Don’t be so hard on them,” Balin took a seat to Thorin’s left. “They’re family.”

“Most of us are family,” said Thorin dryly, “and can manage well enough without each other for a few scant minutes.” 

Fili was just beginning to get uncomfortable under his uncle’s scrutiny when Kili bounded into the dining hall, out of breath, and slid onto the bench next to him. 

“Hello.” He beamed to the company at large. “Did Bombur eat everything yet?” He ducked as the dwarf in question flung a crust of bread at him in retaliation. “Apparently not.” He softly head-butted Fili’s shoulder in greeting, much like a cat, and began loading his plate up along with the others.

“Where were you?” Fili took care to speak quietly, lest Thorin hear and begin to lecture them again. 

“The south east tunnels. There’s a magnificent vein of silver down there. I’m thinking of asking uncle to give me permission to mine it.”

Fili snorted in reply and helped himself to a drink from Kili’s cup. 

“I’ll show you tomorrow.” He took a piece of cheese from Fili’s plate. “It’s thin, but pure. I’d almost hate to see it removed from the rock.”

“What kind of dwarf are you,” Dwalin mocked, “wishing to leave such fine metal in the earth?”

Kili didn’t answer, but threw the remaining cheese in his hand at him instead, smirking as it found its mark. It was a wonder really, how much food ended up thrown rather than eaten at their mealtimes. 

“I’d like that.” Fili answered, tearing a piece of bread from Kili’s plate in two, passing one half to his brother and eating half himself. 

“Good. Bright and early then, brother.” Kili popped a grape into his mouth, only to wince and spit it out again over his shoulder. “Ugh, I hate grapes.” He tipped the ones from his plate onto Fili’s. “Why do we even bother with them?”

“You put them on your plate to begin with,” Fili answered, refilling both their cups with ale and pointedly ignoring his uncle’s glare. 

*

Several days later, they were all seated around the great fire in the hall listening to the wind rushing up the slopes of the mountain, and singing the old songs that matched its rises and falls. It was one of those times Fili felt a strong surge of belonging, of home; the thrumming echo of dwarven-song once again under the earth. It was something he’d never felt before they came to the Lonely Mountain. A much more familiar feeling was the weight of Kili, stretched out on the floor with his head in Fili’s lap as he hummed his part of the tune. He absently wound Kili’s hair about his fingers as he lost himself in the flames and the music.   
A movement across the room caught his attention, and he glanced up to see Balin and Bofur looking at them, something akin to pity in their eyes. Before he could question them, Thorin spoke up, cutting off any last snatches of song. 

“I have received word from the King of Mirkwood” – he was cut off here himself by a collective moan of distaste – “requesting a meeting between our houses. Nothing out of the ordinary it would seem. The usual pomp and circumstance of the elves; a few long speeches and toasts confirming and celebrating our” – he winced – “alliance, and they’ll be on their way again.”

It wasn’t long after Thorin delivering this news that everyone began to make for their beds. On his way from the room, the Dwarf King paused before his nephews. “Don’t drape yourself over your brother so, Kili. It’s unseemly.”

They remained still in surprise for a moment, before awkwardly detangling themselves, and shuffling off to bed in silence. 

*

The brothers shared a room, a common thing among their kin – Oin and Gloin still did despite their age, and it wasn’t unheard of for close friends to share quarters if they chose to, particularly after a period of closeness such as a meaningful battle or journey. In their case, they had all three.   
Fili had shared a room with his brother all his life, and never before had Kili’s presence disturbed him as much as it did that night. Each deep breath the other took grated on his nerves and the inside of his skull. Sleep proved utterly unattainable. He gave up before long, and made his way up to the lookout spot to let the night air that blustered through the hills and dales rush over his skin. 

*

“I’m not sure, brother,” Fili held the lantern higher and ran his index finger over the sprawling vein of silver in the stone, “It’s such a fine thread... I feel it would be more suited to a ladies piece... perhaps the chain and mounting for a pendant?”

Kili snorted and snatched the light, running his own hands over the lamp-lit metal. “I found this vein, I’m making something for myself.”

“You selfish heathen.”

“Indeed.” Kili flashed him a grin, sharp in the shadows of the lamp. “I was thinking a belt buckle, but that seemed so... so...”

“Thorin?”

“Yes.”

“Mmm. Well we can’t have that, can we?” They exchanged a smirk, the well-worn expression conveying ‘I do love uncle, but there’s no doubt he’s an arse.’ “Something less rigid, then. I would say beads for your hair, but you still do not let me braid it for you. And you still don’t possess a thick enough beard.” He tugged a loose lock of KIli’s hair to prove his point before the latter batted him away. “Maybe a broach, or a cloak clasp?”

“You may have something there,” Kili replied, joking forgotten as they spoke of their craft.

Fili stepped back from the rock face, stretching his back out after the long while he’d spent stooped over the seam of metal. “To be honest, I think you’re lucky uncle gave you permission to mine this seam at all.”

“Oh?” KIli straightened also, raising an eyebrow. “And what makes you say that, brother?”

“Because, brother dear, everyone knows you are the worst miner in the entire mountain.” He fought to keep his face blank. “You’ll bring half the rock face down along with the metal. An elf could mine that silver better than you.”  
On reflection, he should have known Kili would be quicker to move than himself. As a result he dodged too late, and took a clumsy blow to the shoulder rather than his face, still strong enough to make him stumble. “Not fast enough, little brother,” he taunted, before a shove to the stomach from Kili proved his wrong. In a flash he was on his back, winded, with Kili sitting triumphantly on his chest.

“What was that you were saying?”

“About you being an elf?” Fili choked out.

“Nope.” Kili bounced a little on Fili’s chest, causing him to cough and splutter under the weight. 

“Alright, alright. You are far superior to me in every way,” he wheezed. “Now get off you great lump.”

“How kind of you to notice my qualities, brother dear.” Kili grinned and leant forward to rub noses with his brother, as they had done when they were small.   
Without giving it a thought, Fili pressed his lips to his brothers’. It felt the most natural thing in the world to close the gap between them, as right as the wind on the side of the mountain. Just for a moment, Fili was at peace. That was before he recalled the stillness of the form still seated on his chest, Kili’s lips tense and closed off to him. It wasn’t until then the magnitude of what he’d just done hit him. He pulled back, banging his head on the stone floor beneath him as he tried to scrabble away. But Kili didn’t budge, just stared down at him in confused silence. Why wasn’t he shouting? Why wasn’t he cursing Fili in every language known to Middle Earth and running from him as fast as he was able? Why was he just sitting there, staring and bewildered, like a child shaken from a familiar routine?

“Kili,” he eventually managed to rasp out, “Kili, I – “

But the sound of Fili’s voice seemed to rouse him, and he carefully climbed off his chest. Not a sound left his lips as he rose, leaving his brother on the floor where once he would have offered his hand as easy as breathing. 

*

If anyone noticed the distance the brothers put between themselves over the following weeks, they were good enough not to mention it. When Fili looked back, he found he couldn’t recall a great deal of that time; it was dull and empty, tinged with the odd burst of shame or loss. He had been fortunate Kili had not spoken of what he’d done to anyone else, though deep down he knew he never would have.   
It had surprised him, when he first realised the depth of his feelings for his brother. That was, until it hit him that it was perhaps the most unsurprising thing in the world – after the time they had spent together – living, working, playing as all brothers should. But it had never quite been enough. He still felt, as he had that inexcusable moment he had first kissed Kili, it would be the most natural thing imaginable for them to be one.  
Romantic love between siblings was not dealt with as harshly among dwarves as in some other societies, but that by no means meant they would be safe from the disgust and scorn of others, or banishment from Erebor, if Thorin and the others saw fit. But this would be nothing compared to the shame he felt himself, or the punishment of living a life where his brother despised him. 

It was a rainy afternoon during this time (or he fancied it was raining; he hadn’t been outside for days) that Thorin summoned him to his rooms. For a horrible moment he thought Kili had told their uncle about his transgression, but the bored expression that greeted him suggested otherwise. Of course Kili wouldn’t, he would never. 

“Uncle?”

“Ah, Fili.”

“You... wished to speak with me?”

“Yes.” He poured them both a mug of ale. “It concerns the wood-king’s party we are to expect week after next.”

That wasn’t what he was expecting at all. Such a thing seemed entirely inconsequential compared to the other matters crawling about his mind. “Oh?”

“I have settled too easily into my role since we regained our home. It’s both a blessing and a curse. I have neglected the roles of you and your brother.”

“How... How so?”

“You remain my heirs, Fili, and I feel there are many who forget this, the Elven King included. While this may not always be a negative thing,” he raised an eyebrow meaningfully as if to bring up every mistake he and Kili had ever made, “it is important they recognise you nonetheless. So, I wish for you to be present during the talks.”

“But I usually am any – “

“Yes yes, but I wish for you to attend them as my heir and kin, not as a mere inhabitant of Erebor, as you have done previously.”

“Oh. Of course.” He searched for something suitable to add. “I’d be honoured.”

“It’s your rightful place.” Thorin turned back to the untouched ale and the papers he had spread over the table, marking a clear end to their conversation. Fili hesitated a moment, then turned to leave. “Fili?”

He paused. “Yes?” 

The silence stretched as Thorin stared unseeing at the table in front of him. “You and your brother...are things well between you? You have been far too cold and distant with each other of late. I’m concerned, for the both of you.”

“I thought that was what you wanted.” First they were too close, now they were too far apart. Was it possible for them to co-exist at all anymore?

“No Fili.” Thorin looked up at that. “No. I would not have you apart. I would take all your foolish squabbling over this senseless brooding.”

He couldn’t help but think: I doubt you would if you knew the truth. “I suppose not.”

“Just... cast whatever has caused this rift aside, and put things right. Preferably before Thranduil graces us with his presence.” He gifted his sister-son a small smile. 

“Yes uncle.” With a bow, he left, wondering how on earth he was going to keep up appearances with Kili when the other was probably dreading being within a foot of him. 

*

Fili did not enjoy the preparations for the arrival of the elves. It was endless checking and re-checking of stores, finding a place for everything and everyone, all overlaid with a thrum of unease. He wondered if it was likewise for all rulers and their houses, or whether it was just because the meeting was of elves and dwarves.   
If he thought the days before the visit were unbearable, they were nothing compared to the actual presence of the elves in Erebor. King Thranduil, his son, and a large party of what Fili assumed were important folk within the court of Mirkwood arrived early one morning, just as the first watery rays of sun were striking the mountain slopes. After an hour or so of long-winded introductions and promises of continued friendship and alliance (which all felt horribly forced and stiff) senior members of each party retired to the hall to discuss several seemingly mundane matters which Fili found it hard to focus on.   
The next three days continued in a similar manner – days of standing around tables looking at charts, maps, and lists. Things that Fili may have taken a great deal more interest in if it weren’t for the continued coldness between him and his brother. Still, he did his best, if only to please Thorin. That didn’t help to ease the tension of the talks though; both Thorin and Thranduil were trying hard to let the past go for the sake of their peoples, but neither was willing to forget so easily that day on the slopes of Erebor many years ago, when one had left the other to his fate. Never mind all the years of petty sniping that had followed.   
He could have been able to laugh about all this, once. Late at night in a messy nest of blankets with Kili, all soft laughter and the smell of hot metal. Now he did not even have that to ease the pressure. 

That said, the awful tension eased somewhat in the evenings, when elf and dwarf mingled in the great hall to dine, softened by drink and the lack of such stiff topics of conversation. It was a welcome distraction – the strange woodland folk gave him something to think of other than his own sorry state of affairs. Although, on the final night of the elves’ visit, even this small mercy was taken away from him. 

“Forgive me for being forward, master dwarf,” the elf seated next to Fili spoke softly, “but are you well? You look somewhat... saddened.”

He clearly wasn’t doing a good enough job of keeping his dissatisfaction hidden. “I am well, thank you,” he replied gruffly, with enough traces of a smile to back up his words. The elf was not so easily fooled.

“Forgive me, but you are not.” He set down the bread he was holding and turned to face the dwarf more fully. “These talks between our peoples were arranged in the hopes we could endeavour to further set aside our differences. While I know that is not something that could happen overnight, I believe that I must offer assistance where I feel it could be given.”

“I see.” Fili was not entirely sure he did see, but by this point he did not think he could take much more exposure to the ways of elves, and humouring him seemed both easier and more prudent. “Then what assistance would you give, elf?”

“You pine.”

Oh. That was unexpected. “I’m sorry?”

“You pine for somebody you think you cannot have.”

He didn’t think, he knew. “What makes you think you correct in your assumption?” If anything, his heated reply seemed to encourage the elf. He actually smiled when faced with Fili’s glare.

“It is clear in every move you make. Every word you say is laced with it. It is obvious to me.”

“Right. And I suppose if this is obvious to you, it is obvious to the rest of your company also?”

“Yes.”

Fili fought hard not to lean forward and bang his head on the table in exasperation. “Fine.” At this point he doubted anything the elf could say would prove more frustrating than what he’d already heard. “Then tell me this, elf. If you claim to know so much about my predicament, what would you have me do?”

His dining companion smiled, an annoying, feline curl of the mouth. “Well, I would start by asking what makes you think you cannot have them.”

Fili could have given him a list of reasons longer than his sword. In the end, he went with what felt the most important, the one that had been torturing him most of all. “They would not return my affections. I... have already lost so much by showing him how I feel. I would not risk total estrangement on the off chance he will change his mind.” He’d never dare to hope. 

“That is grave indeed, though I don’t think you are giving me the entire truth of the matter.”

Fili gave an unintelligible mumble into his mug of ale, which may have been something along the lines of ‘bloody elves.’ The elf at his side was gracious enough to pretend not to notice. “Our... love, would not be right.” 

The elf raised his eyebrow, and Fili silently congratulated himself on getting a reaction. “How can love be wrong?”

“Surely you and all your worldly knowledge can come up with an answer to that.” He couldn’t help but sneer.

“When love becomes something worthy to be deemed ‘wrong’ it is no longer love.” How could this infuriating man be so sure in his assessments of something so, well, unsure? “So, tell me, what makes you think it wrong?”

At this point, Fili just wanted the conversation to end, and quickly, consequences be damned. He was mortified he was even having this conversation as it was, never mind that it was with a member of the court of Mirkwood. “We...” he took care to lower his voice, though he knew any elf who wanted to hear his words would be more than able. “We are family.”

“I see. Yes, that can be a problem. But it should not be your problem. Love is love. Let those who disagree, disagree. We are free to love who we wish without the input of those it does not concern.”

“You know who I am? Who I love concerns everybody within Erebor.”

The elf actually laughed at that, soft and bright, which made Fili want to hit him and laugh along simultaneously. “That is a weak argument, master dwarf. Does it honestly concern you what the rest of your company would think? If it meant you could be with the one you love?”

Fili was about to reply with a firm ‘yes,’ before he realised that actually, the answer to that was ‘no.’ It would mean very little to him, the mutterings, glares, perhaps even disowning, if he and Kili could be together. It would be painful, of course it would be, but he could live with it. He did not dwell on what Thorin may say... “It matters not. You are still not grasping the main problem I am having. He does not want me like I want him.”

“If the one you are talking about is the one I suspect it is, then that is not a problem.”

“I – what?” 

But the elf would say no more, only quirked his funny little smile and took a small sip of wine. Shaking his head in exasperation, Fili looked about the hall. His uncle and the Elven King were in conversation, looking as uncomfortable as they had during the formal talks during the day. His eyes lingering on the pair a moment, he could have sworn they both flicked their gaze to where he sat. He didn’t look for his brother. His dining companion was still looking thoroughly pleased with himself, and Fili took that as his queue to go to bed, before he was tempted to drink more heavily. 

*

Fili wasn’t sure of the time when he woke. He had not been asleep for long, that much he knew: the fire was low, but still burning, and a soft murmur of conversation from the hall still seeped into the rooms he shared with his brother. Or used to share. They had taken to offering themselves up for a night-watch in the lookout tower, or bunking with others, in order to avoid the situation in its entirety. Of course, it hadn’t worked every time; there had still been the odd night filled with loaded silence when each knew the other was awake on the other side of the room, but neither wished to speak.  
He was a little chilled, despite the pleasant glow of the embers in the hearth. He rubbed his forehead and pushed hair away from his face where it had come loose from his braids. They were getting untidy – he would usually ask Kili to fix it for him, but under the circumstances, it had hardly seemed fitting.

“Fili?”

After a moment of confusion, Fili sat up and turned to face the doorway. There, sure enough, his brother was standing, awkwardly, like he wasn’t sure what to do with his limbs. The silence was heavy between them, thick and evident as coal dust. Then Kili broke it, and it was like someone had opened a window. 

“I – I noticed your braids are coming undone.” He swallowed, Fili watching the tense movement along his throat and jaw. “I thought I might re-do them for you. If you would like me to, that is.” 

Not able to gather words at that moment, Fili just nodded once and turned his back to his brother, waiting for him to take his place.  
They sat in silence for some time after that. Not the awful silence that had eaten away at them during the night, but easing into the companionable silence they had used to share, no words needed between them. Fili’s eyes closed as he basked in the feeling of his brother’s steady fingers easing the tangled braids free and twining new ones in their places. He was the only one who had ever braided his hair, and Fili was certain he never wanted the privilege to belong to another. But, too soon, the task was done, and both knew it was time to talk. Or at least, that’s what Fili assumed. But, before he could get a word out, Kili gently pulled them both under the furs of the bed, wrapping his arms securely around his brother’s waist and pressing his face to his back.

“Kili? Kili, what are you doing?”

“I want to sleep. Please?” His voice was small and muffled.

“...Alright.” It was a considerably better outcome than shouting or bitter silence. He placed his hand over Kili’s where it rested on his hip. Kili, bless his heart, didn’t even seem to notice.

*

Fili was asleep, or very close – lulled by the familiar body beside him and the exhaustion produced by the entire affair – when he felt hot breath on the back of his neck, one hand still on his hip and the other running through his hair. He tensed without meaning to, despite being unhappily aware it was just his sleeping brother, nothing more. A theory that was shot to pieces when small kisses were dotted just below his ear and down his neck, the hand on his lacing their fingers together. He was locked in a moment of breathless panic and wonder, knowing he needed to move, say something, anything, but unable to process what was happening. Kili gave his hand a squeeze before letting go, dragging his fingers along the front of his brother’s shirt up to his chest and back down, fisting a handful of fabric at his hip. Fili was completely lost in the movements, the smooth strokes and patter of fingertips over his chest and back, rubbing his shoulders and moving dangerously close to the waistband of his loose-fitting trousers. It wasn’t until a possessive hand flat across his chest was paired with a smooth roll of Kili’s hips into his behind that he regained his senses. 

“Kili, please,” he forced out, eyes still fixed on the blank wall in front of him rather than the man behind, “why are you doing this?”

“Because you want me to,” came the rough reply close to his ear.

“I do not want this to be an act of pity, brother.” The comforting smell of warm bed-furs and hot metal that came with his sibling helped him find the courage to speak where their separation had quietened him. “I want you to want this also. I – I would not make you unhappy, could I help it.”

The hand that had moments ago been tugging at his waistband came once more to lace with his own. “I know.” Kili’s voice was old, weary, but still touched with the confusion of youth. “I do want this, I can promise you that.”

He hardly dared hope it. “You do?”

“Yes. It’s just... a change, that is all. Surely you can understand that.”

“Of course, but why didn’t you – “

“Fili, please. Can we not discuss this right at this moment? I feel – I feel I could more easily explain what I am trying to say afterwards.”

“Afterwards? After what?” His question faded to a whisper as he felt Kili’s weight shift behind him.

“I’m sure you can guess well enough.” They way Kili purred into his ear may have been the most delicious thing he’d ever heard.

“Kili...” He had to try once more to stop, before they were both irrevocably lost. But his brother shushed him, almost impatient, like he had when they were younger and quite possibly about to get into trouble. That moment of sheer familiarity coupled with lips once more brushing his neck blew all Fili’s remaining doubts away. So he gave in to what he wanted, let his brother’s hands map out his chest, warm mouth and breath ghost his neck until he could stand it no longer and turned around, so they lay face to face. There was a split second in which they took each other in, eyes wide and breathing heavy, before they surged forward, sloppy and a little awkward in their enthusiasm, teeth knocking and nipping lips. When they finally found a rhythm of slow deep kisses, Fili felt himself moan, a deep rumble in his chest, to which Kili replied with a sharp bite at his bottom lip.   
At that, Fili broke free of their easy rhythm and swung a leg over Kili, pulling them closer and causing their bodies to lie flush together. He was rewarded with a harsh groan from his brother as he tossed his head back, exposing a long line of throat, still mostly absent of beard despite their age. He cupped the back of Kili’s neck and pulled him close, licking a long stripe up his neck, from collarbone to chin, before sucking lightly on a soft spot between the two.

“Mark me, brother.”Kili’s voice was cracked and rough.

Fili stopped, throat dry. “You are sure? People will ask questions.”

“They have suspected this of us for a long while – you know this – now there will be no doubt. We belong to each other.”

That was enough of an answer to satisfy him. He bit down, gently at first, just above Kili’s collarbone, gradually sucking harder until he felt a pleased thrumming in his brother’s chest and pulled back, eyeing the red mark he’d left behind. He placed a brief kiss on the spot before claiming the other’s mouth once more.   
Without conscious thought, they began to rut against each other, tugging each other’s hair and kissing sloppily. But it wasn’t enough – they were still separated by clothing, and the angle they lay at was less than pleasing. Fili sat up, dragging KIli with him. He pulled the other’s shirt over his head and tossed it away to kiss his stomach, feeling a tremble of laughter as his beard brushed it. 

“Stop,” still chuckling softly, Kili pushed him away before pulling off Fili’s shirt also. He pounced on his older brother, pinning him to the bed with his hips, and began to kiss and suck at his nipples. The thought that his brother knew how to use his tongue so well would have troubled Fili, were it not so pleasing. 

“Little brother,” he grinned, “have you been practicing?”

Kili didn’t reply, instead he pulled back, smirking, and reached down to feel his brother’s hardness through his trousers. Fili found that silenced him fairly effectively. He could only lie back and feel his breathing get faster and heat coiling in the pit of his belly as he watched his brother’s slight hand palming him roughly.

“Are you hard for me, Fili?” The little devil had the nerve to ask with a leer, “Is all this for me?” To Fili’s utter surprise, the other bent to mouth at his arousal through his trousers. The fabric was thick enough that he didn’t feel a lot, but the image was more than enough.

“That depends,” Fili managed to speak softly in return, surprised at the calm in his voice he didn’t feel. Kili paused, confused, his hesitation giving Fili all the time he needed to grasp the other firmly and switch their positions, so he was now sat over his brother. “That depends,” he repeated, roughly taking his brother’s cock in his hand, “is this all for me?” Before Kili had time to do anything but gasp in shock, Fili had once again latched himself onto his brother’s skin, leaving a mark even angrier than the first, causing Kili’s breath to hitch and his thighs to tighten around him. Ever on a mission to one-up each other, Fili slid back a little, and fumbled for the laces of the other’s trousers. He sharply tugged them open, and gently brushed KIli’s cock with his fingertips, watching his face for a sign that this was still allowed. Kili let out a whine, and arched his hips up into the touch, which Fili took as an invitation to continue. He grasped his brother more firmly and began to stroke, rough skin on smooth, until Kili couldn’t take it anymore and pushed him away, pressing their mouths together as he pulled at the laces on Fili’s own trousers.   
Both of them were now exposed to each other, glassy-eyed and breathing heavily, when Fili realised he really wasn’t sure what he ought to do next. Kili was on his lap, a thigh each side of his, their cocks scant inches from each other, and looking equally unsure.

“Fili, I – “ for one painful second, Fili thought his brother was about to tell him this was all too much and they must stop, but he realised the real source of the other’s discomfort as the colour rose in his cheeks. “Who should be the one to – well – you know.”

Fili let out a huff of laughter in relief and affection, rubbing noses with his brother as he had not done since the day he had kissed him in the caves. “I think that may be a question for another day.” This whole thing was still new for the both of them, despite how utterly right it felt. Rushing into something and upsetting them both was the last thing he wanted to do. “For now, I believe this,” he grasped both their cocks together in one hand, “will be more than good enough.”

They leant forward to rest their foreheads together as Fili began to stroke them, swiping his thumb across where moisture had gathered and spreading it down so his hand slid more easily. He felt Kili rocking into the touch, could feel every tiny gasp and hitch in his breath, every twitch of his cock against his own. 

“Fee,” Kili’s words were little more than a breath against his brother’s cheek, “you do know I love you.”

“I do.”

“Not just as brothers should.”

“... That is something I’m still finding hard to believe.” If he couldn’t be honest now, when could he?

Kili’s soft laugh brushed his cheek. “Then know it now. I love you as you love me.”

Fili could not take much more after that. Their thrusts into his hand became quicker and irregular, they breathed each other’s air open-mouthed as Fili felt a surging heat within him rising. He crushed his mouth to Kili’s as he came, warm come over his hand and their chests. His slick come on their cocks sent KIli over too, with a harsh gasp into his brother’s mouth as he eased them through their completion. As the last of their orgasms pulsed through them, Kili ran his thumb through a smear of come on his thigh.

“I do not know if this is yours or mine.”

Fili couldn’t help but laugh at the look of tired confusion on his brother’s face as he pulled one of their shirts over to clean them off. He did a far from thorough job, and the shirt would be in an awful state, but he was too drowsy and content to care.

He pulled them both under the furs of his bed. The fire had nearly died out completely, but he was warm enough with Kili pressed into his side. The soft voices from the hall were silent now; the only sound a faint murmur of the wind in the mountains. He twisted his brother’s hair absently between his fingers for a while, and was nearly asleep when Kili’s voice brought him back around.

“I’m sorry Fili.”

“What for?”

“That we did not realise this sooner. We have wasted many years.”

“But we were not without each other. I do not count that as a waste in any way.” He pressed a kiss to Kili’s temple. “Besides, think of all the time we have now.”

“That is not all.”

“Oh?”

“I – I am also sorry for the past weeks we did not speak.” 

They had to get around to this sooner or later. “I am sorry for that also, in truth.” There had been many times before when they had fallen out and refused to speak with each other, but never as intensely nor for so long a time. “But, why did you not speak to me for so long?”

“I needed time to think all this over Fili. Honestly, it was hardly a simple matter to come to terms with.” He yawned wide and slumped further against his brother. “In any case, you did not seek me out either.”

“I was afraid that if I spoke first you would push me away entirely. I couldn’t live with that.”

“I suppose you are right. That does not change the fact we are both fools.”

“Speak for yourself, little brother.”

Kili swatted at him without much heart, before closing his eyes and pulling himself closer to Fili.

There was still a great deal more to discuss, but Kili seemed to be asleep or very close, and Fili was not far off himself. There would be a lot to face up to, both with each other and their kin, and there was no question the coming months would be difficult to say the least. But, for now, the brothers were in each other’s arms, as they belonged, and Fili counted that as a victory.


End file.
